Butterfly Tapping
The ability to regulate our emotions when needed is often times a difficult thing to achieve. When we are really stressed, angry, or overwhelmed the lower regions of our brain, used for assessing danger and reacting to keep us safe, activate and the neocortex, or frontal regions of the brain responsible for decision making and problem solving, tend to take a back seat.
This may sound familiar to you if you recall a time when you have been in an argument with someone and struggled to communicate effectively or even to think of what to say next.
When we get disregulated we may feel a “fight” sensation where perhaps we say something to intentionally hurt the other person, or perhaps we have a “flight” sensation to walk away from the conversation altogether, and at times we may even have a “freeze” response where we shut down completely.
As mentioned above, learning to regulate ourselves can be difficult. It is also important to not confuse regulating our emotions with invalidating them. Whether you are upset, angry, frustrated, or feeling betrayed, the feelings you experience are valid.
The ability to regulate them is essentially the ability to have some level of control over how you respond to the situation and allowing your front regions of the brain to come back into the drivers seat.
Today I’d like to share with you a simple skill to assist you in this process of going from disregulated to regulated. Find a comfortable place to sit, stand, or lie down.
You begin by crossing your arms over your chest so that your right hand is resting on your left shoulder and your left hand is resting on your right shoulder. Next, you alternate tapping your shoulders with your hands: right, left, right, left, and so on in a slow, rhythmic pattern.
By doing this you are using what is called “bilateral stimulation”, crossing the left and right sides of the body which allows for both the left and right hemispheres of the brain to activate and increase communication between them. This in turn allows you to better process information, calm yourself down, and get decision making regions of the brain back online.
Feel free to try this anytime you are starting to feel out of control or overwhelmed with your emotions. This is also a great skill to use for co-regulating with your partner, child, or friend.
